Taking my Hands off the Wheel
I’m a planner, I’ve always been a planner. I like everything in my life to be laid out and organized in just a certain way. I like knowing what’s next and having a timeline for everything. Over the past month, I have not been able to have control over every any aspect of my life. I have fully taken my hands off the wheel lately for the first time in my life.
Everyone said it would feel freeing, and that I would enjoy the aspect of uncertainty. That I wouldn’t be able to go back to being in control of everything. This was a bold faced lie. I hate not being in control, and I feel terrified and uncomfortable with everything that comes my way. I need a plan.
That all being said, not having a plan has given me opportunities over the past month that I never would have had otherwise. I never would have ended up at the most beautiful B&B in the world, I never would have seen as much of PEI as I did and I probably wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t have driven all the way across Canada for Canada 150 and I wouldn’t have met the amazing people I’ve met so far.
I’m over it though. As wonderful as this experience has been, it’s very clearly not for me. Please bear with me as I embark on the journey of planning the next phase of my life.