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A Self Love Journey Gone Too Far

Three years ago, I stopped washing my hair every day. I knew I needed to let my hair learn how to control it’s oils and I needed to take care of it. It got to the point where I was washing my hair once a week on average. Almost two years ago I embarked on a journey to embrace my natural face, I forced myself to stop wearing makeup because I needed to learn to be happy with my bare face. About a year ago I started caring less about what I wore because comfort was more important to me than trendiness.

These were all such important journeys that I’m so thankful I went on, but somewhere along that line, I let myself go. Not only was I only washing my hair once a week, I was only showering once a week. I stopped doing skincare, I stopped shaving, and I stopped caring about myself. I would wake up 15 minutes before leaving the house, brush my teeth, pin my hair back and throw on some easy outfit that was tried and tested.

So,  I got bangs. I got bangs because I am in crisis. I stopped taking care of myself and I needed a reason to wash my hair more often. I needed something that inspired me to wash my face, or think about my outfits. Fashion used to be such a pillar of who I was, I used to love getting dressed and being creative with an outfit. I wanted to be a fashion designer, I wanted to be a stylist, I cared.

I needed motivation truly love myself, and love doesn’t just mean acceptance, it means taking care of what you love. I am fine with my unclean, greasy, bare body – but that doesn’t mean that’s how I need to exist. Taking care of myself and my body needs to be more important than thankless volunteer hours, and I need to get better at saying “no, I need to go home and shower.”

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